Just Locker Room Talk?

First things first-I’ve been quiet since primary season, because I’m just shocked and disgusted at this year, but whatever. Let me just out myself right here and now: As of today, I am not voting for President this year, you can’t talk me into it. This is where I am. Never thought I’d be here, but alas I am.

So…once again. This is not a biased pro-either candidate post.

Now let’s move on…


And when we aren’t in the middle of a political train wreck, we’re shockingly ok with it.

I’m trying to figure out why we are acting surprised at anything anymore…from anyone.

In his apology, Trump claimed his words were just locker room talk.

But we live in a WORLD that is deeply ok with objectifying women. Men (and even women sometimes) of all walks of life are still permitted to engage in “locker room talk” as if it’s synonymous with manhood. My degrees and careers have thrown me all over the social map and what I’ve learned is this: sexism does not discriminate. Not a woman in the whole history of the world has likely gone untouched by it’s nastiness.

Ladies: raise your hand if you’ve been honked at on an innocent walk around your neighborhood? Cat called? Hit on? or Worse? Way worse? Oh, all of you? That’s what I thought.

Raise your hand if you check the stalls when you go in a bathroom alone? OH, again, everyone? About right.

Locker room banter is NOT OK, just as being racist behind closed doors is also never acceptable. Because aren’t we all our most authentic selves behind closed doors when the mics are off?

Furthermore, I’m just trying to figure out why in 2016 pornography is still a thing. Also-prostitution, locker room banter, sexually explicit and degrading music, and sexual advertising. Why do women STILL feel the need to enhance their figures, and hide their brains?  Why do women still have to literally claw their way to the top? Why is the cover of Girls Life still telling girls, in not so subtle verbiage, that being pretty is paramount?

Why couldn’t Hillary leave Bill when he lied and humiliated her in front of the whole world multiple times? Why couldn’t she pursue her own career without him by her side? Why was Monica demonized and ruined, and not him?

Why is there only slut shaming, as if there aren’t always two people involved?

Why don’t women report rape?

Why do women in the entertainment industry get axed as they age past “sexy?”

Because of depravity.


Here’s what I propose we do.

First of all. Stop. If you’re reading this right now as a woman or a man, consider the way we treat women and girls (women can be sexist, too). Before you sum up a woman based on her appearance, make yourself stop. Think. Consider your thoughts and your words. Be mindful.

This woman has a brain and a personality, and a mama and dad. She is someone’s daughter, sister, wife, mom. This woman is a human. She is created in the image of an all knowing and loving Creator. She was put on the Earth for reasons that have little or nothing to do with anyone else’s loins.

Stop saying things like Trump said (or Jay Z, too). And if you’ve never said them, thank you. Stop listening to them.


Secondly, we have to ACTIVELY teach loudly against this behavior. Tell your boys its unacceptable to make objects out of people. Tell your girls that their worth is multi dimensional. Tell them to pursue their dreams and fight for equality because no matter what, it’s their right.

Stop buying music that is sexually explicit toward women!

Stop feeding your honest money into an entertainment industry hell bent on objectifying women in movies, television, and commercials!

Stop calling women “bitches” and “sluts.”

Once in grad school, there was this guy who sat in front of me. He was probably in his mid 30s with all of us punky jerk 20 something know it alls. Looking back, he probably had a lot of wisdom we could’ve gleaned, had we ever taken the time to get past his mullet and Hawaiian shirts. I’m not kidding. We spent a whole semester snickering at this guy, before the one day I woke up and knew in the deepest part of my gut that what I was doing was wrong. It’s wrong to look at people as anything but PEOPLE!

Stop the cycle.

Speak out against it.

We can point our fingers all day, but we are complicit when we allow misogyny in our culture in any form!

Don’t allow it in your locker rooms or board rooms or homes or cars or televisions.

It’s not ok, it’s never been ok, and it never will be.

Because eventually most words….lead to actions.


13 thoughts on “Just Locker Room Talk?

  1. Thanks for writing from the heart. This whole election cycle has been a reality show in the making. Wondering when I will wake up to find none of it really happened?


  2. So well stated! I’d like to invite you to read a recent post on Melissa Gray writes from the heart and she is writing in hopes of inspiring social change in our society by outing the “locker room talk” that many seem to accept as a cultural norm. It’s not normal to degrade an entire gender with this kind of apathy! Thank you for your post.


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