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Silas, on his Third Birthday

Today is my nephew’s birthday.


Three years ago today, he was born, on my dad’s 58th birthday. After 6 quiet minutes in the arms of his dad, he remains in the arms of his Abba in Heaven, forever whole, forever healed.

We knew we’d lose him, though we prayed we wouldn’t. Diagnosed with a birth defect at his very first sonogram, our time with him was a mere 29 weeks-29 weeks of questions, prayers, heartbreak, confusion, joy, and even peace.*

Three years later, none of that has changed.

Silas: son, brother, nephew, grandson, friend.

Though we didn’t meet him eye to eye, we felt him through his mother’s skin, moving, kicking, being alive.  Though he was but a breath, we love him, and think of him often. We will never forget him. He will always be my sister’s middle child. He will always be my first nephew, my buddy who I loved so much. He will always share a birthday with my dad. He will always be the one who reminds us that we serve a God who sometimes allows things we won’t ever understand, but at the same time wraps us in peace that is both intangible and real. And then, He clothes us in strength to meet each day, present and scared but brave.

If you’ve experienced loss, you are not alone.  Whether you held your child in your arms, or chased them in the yard, or if they were a glimmer of hope before they vanished-your child was a life. You child matters. You matter. Your grief is justified.

Because community is a buoy, parents don’t have to grieve alone. Because many of us on the outside don’t know how to help, or what to say, or even how to grieve, we need support, too.

Today, on his third birthday, a community exists to support you. I’m so proud of my sister, Laura, in the launch of Silas Project.

Silas Project exists:

  • To connect parents through their stories and experiences.
  • To encourage and foster healthy grief, healing, and growth.
  • To experience the joy and pride of honoring these precious children.
  • To equip friends and family to walk through these seasons with tenderness and care.

You are safe here. You are loved. You are noticed. You are free to grieve.

*You can read more of Silas’ beautiful story right here.



One thought on “Silas, on his Third Birthday

  1. Reblogged this on Rural Iowa Pastor and commented:
    This is the third birthday of my first grandson, Silas, whose profound birth defect limited his life to only six minutes. Yet those six months of life in the womb and six minutes outside have made a profound effect on our family and motivated my youngest daughter to start a non-profit, online community to assist those who experience the grief of pregnancy loss.


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